WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
