Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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