if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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