So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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