If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
