I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
