No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
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In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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