you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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