Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
