Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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