Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
