That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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