the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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