I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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