We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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