he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
