i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
