I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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