Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
