Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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