Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i out mim tonsoeep
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
