i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
