I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
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