Whod you bang
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I pour the whiskey from now on
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
