I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
