There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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