well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
