I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
