the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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