he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
