obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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