wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
