I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
