Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records