i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.