My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
