The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize