You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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