we have pet lesbian snakes
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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