got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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