Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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