literally had 100 drinks last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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