Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
