if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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