the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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