you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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