your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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