im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
