While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
