i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
