its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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