All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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