just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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