that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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