it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
