as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Come share oat with me in your robe
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
